(no subject)

"Hi Mike," Melinda greeted, a little shyly.

"Hey," he said with a smile, coming toward Melinda in the bed. He noticed how her arms tightened around the bundle in her arms, pulling him closer to her chest, and she hunched over slightly as if to protect him. Mike slowed his pace and just touched her shoulder with the good hand, then backed off. He sat at one of the chairs at the table instead of next to the bed. She relaxed visibly.

"How are you feeling?" Mike asked.

"Pretty okay, I guess," Melinda said. "I mean, for just having been ripped apart and all."

Mike smiled, although he was pulling a face. "That's graphic."

"Excuse you, Uncanny Valley."

Mike laughed, but sobered a little too quickly. "So Gabe told me about your...troubles."

Melinda didn't answer, looking down at the baby. She gave him a finger to grab and chew on.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Melinda took her time answering this time, before shrugging a little. "I wouldn't know what to say."

"Well," Mike said, "have you put him down at all?" He knew how to get information out of people, in theory at least. Maybe that power could be used for good here.

Melinda nodded. "For a few minutes, to go to the bathroom."

"Was that okay?"

"Not...really." Melinda looked troubled. "I'm trying to get them to give me one of those bassinets on wheels so I can have it in there with me, at least." There was a pause. "That's really pathetic, isn't it?" she asked, finally looking back up at Mike.

"No," Mike said. "Mel, you just had a baby," he said, gesturing. He noticed Melinda's eyes following his prosthesis and quietly rested it in his lap. "If there's any time in your life when it's okay to be emotional and not beat up on yourself, it's right now. I promise, no one is judging you."

Melinda nodded and looked down at the baby again, lips stretching into a line as her eyes narrowed and tensed. Seeing her face about to cry was like watching stone crack: alarming and somehow unnatural, even though you knew logically that it must happen sometimes.

He gave her a moment to compose herself before going on. "Do you think something bad will happen if you let go of him?"

Melinda shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe."

"Like what?"

"I mean, I don't think any of my fears are irrational. Someone could drop him, but they probably won't. The bassinet could break, but that's really unlikely. Someone could drop his head but he'd probably be okay. Someone could make him cry and then I'd cry but we'd both survive."

"So you know that letting go of him would probably be okay."

Melinda nodded.

"But you still can't."

She nodded, face contorting again. "I don't know why," she whispered, not trusting her voice. She was shaking her head as she said it, and Mike saw a tear drip down onto her chest, soaking into the hospital gown and making a dark spot.

He wanted to go and hug her, tell her it was okay, but it would just scare her more. All he could do was watch. "It's okay," he said, feeling like he was talking to a wall.

The baby woke up and started to fuss, and Melinda took a deep breath, forcing her face into a smile. She cooed at him vaguely while she checked his diaper, then kicked the blanket back. Mike noticed, when she stood up, that her abdomen was still swollen, as if she had just gone back to maybe five months pregnant. He watched her while she changed the baby's diaper. She seemed okay setting him on the changing table, but she kept a hand or two on him as much as was possible.

"You seem impressively mobile for 36 hours after birth," Mike commented as she wrapped the baby in his blanket and picked him up again. She was walking slowly back to the bed, but not really limping or bowlegged like he'd have expected.

"Being in good shape helps," she said, climbing back into bed and pulling the covers up one-armed. The baby still fussed, so she started untying the front of her gown. "Boob warning," she announced, and Mike politely looked up while she got the baby to latch on.

"Okay, you're safe," she said after a minute, and Mike looked back down at her. The sight of a new mother nursing made him smile.

"And control the creepy smile."

Mike bit back a laugh, but composed himself to an overly serious face. "Yes, ma'am."

Melinda rolled her eyes, but she was trying not to crack a smile too.

"You seem calmer now than you did a minute ago," Mike observed. "Is it because you're nursing?"

Melinda couldn't really shrug, but she tilted her head a little. "Maybe. More like because he's awake, I think."

Mike nodded. "As long as he's awake and interacting, you know he's okay."

Melinda nodded agreement. "Something could go wrong in his sleep and he wouldn't cry, so I might not know."

"Are you afraid of something going wrong and you not being close enough to help him?"

"A little, I guess. I mean, I know that if that happens I'm in a hospital. And we've got plenty of people with healing inclinations from their parents around, on top of medical training."

Mike nodded. "That's true."

"They keep trying to get me to take lorazepam. They think I'm having panic attacks or something."

"But you don't want to take it?"

Melinda shook her head, looking back down at the baby. "I'll let go of him when I'm ready."